Maybe it’s my mood today but this story really got to me. Katie Lee is a Food Network star. I won’t pretend to know much about her, I really only knew she was Billy Joel’s ex. But after reading her post, I’m all protective and ready to do battle with the insensitive people creeping on to her Instagram page. Katie married Ryan Biegel last year. They have only been married for eight months and yet that has not stopped people – many people, mainly strangers – from asking Katie about when she will add children to her family. Not only is it invasive, it’s an incredibly painful topic for Katie and Ryan because they have, in fact, been trying to get pregnant and have had not success. And every time she’s asked if she pregnant, it is a reminder that she isn’t.

Katie’s caption reads:

I get multiple messages a day asking me if I’m pregnant or why I am not pregnant yet. I get comments saying I look like I’ve gained weight, so I must be pregnant. After one said that I looked “thick in the waist” I finally responded that it’s not ok to comment on a woman’s body and you never know what someone is going through. There is so much pressure on women to look a certain way and while most mean well with baby questions, it can be hurtful. Many of you sent me messages sharing your personal stories of fertility issues. You helped me, so now I want to share my story with you. When Ryan and I got married, our plan was to start a family right away. I couldn’t wait to get pregnant! I naively thought it would be easy. I’m a healthy woman, I eat a balanced diet, exercise, I don’t smoke. Ryan is the same. But reproductive health is an entirely different ballgame. We were trying, I had to have surgery to correct a problem, got an infection, then I was so run down I got shingles. My doctor advised us to try iVF. We just finished the intense process only to get zero healthy embryos. Not only is iVF physically exhausting, the emotional toll is unparalleled. We were filled with hope and excitement only to be crushed. It is really hard to put on a happy face. Fertility issues are supposed to be private so many of us are silently in pain. I hesitated to share this but I feel comfort when I hear others’ stories and I hope any of you in a similar situation know you are not alone. When people ask me when I’m getting pregnant, it hurts. It’s just a reminder that I’m not. When they say I look like I’ve gained weight, I have. I can’t exercise as much and the hormones have made me bloated. At church on Easter, the priest started his sermon with a story about a family struggling to have a baby and the happiness they are now experiencing that their prayers have been answered. He said it is a time of new beginnings. Tears streamed down my face. I know a family will happen for us, it is just going to be a different journey than we imagined. We will keep working towards it. Someday we will have our happy new beginning and I pray any of you experiencing the same will have yours too.

I appreciate Katie sharing this painful story with us. It’s important to be open so others don’t suffer in isolation or silence. However, we all understand how hard it can be to discuss such deeply personal things. Many people have struggles that they don’t want to share, which is understandable. Considering that Katie has already been badgered about it, it’s compassionate and generous of her to be so open. This is a reminder that if a person is not talking about something, there could very well be a reason for that. Folks wonder all the time if a certain celebrity is pregnant or trying but there is a big difference between casual speculation and sliding into a person’s comments and grilling them.

I want to end on a slightly more positive note. I love the way Katie ended this by saying, “I know a family will happen for us, it is just going to be a different journey than we imagined.” That’s a good way of looking at it. All paths to building a family are rewarding. Becoming parents is such an emotional rollercoaster even in the best of circumstances. Whenever and however Katie and Ryan add to their family, I wish them much luck and happiness.

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

Photo credit: Instagram and WENN Photos

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7pLHLnpmirJOdxm%2BvzqZmb2pgaYR5e8qaq6Kdj6GypqvImJ6erI%2Biwq3AyKmjnpedmsC0rcaeqpiZj5muuqvArKKippeUxKnFvqKWmqWPo7y1q8%2BrnKCmkaPBoMXErWY%3D