Jessica Simpsons boobs are under attack

Here’s Jessica Simpson out last night in Los Angeles after having dinner with friends. Yes, those are her breasts, and yes, they are jacked to her chin. Now, as I’ve mentioned before, I have big boobs. They’re about Jessica’s size, and they are more trouble then they’re worth. I’m sure this dress would look really cute on someone with a smaller chest. But with Jessica’s rack – and she’s obviously wearing some kind of push-up something under there – the whole ensemble makes her look trashy. That’s the thing about big boobs – you can go from classy to hooker-wear with about an inch less of fabric.

So, that was what I thought of the ensemble and Jessica’s oft-discussed rack. It’s not her, it’s the dress, basically. Or, “Jessica needs to learn how to cover the girls better.” But some people just like to pick on Jessica. And Us Weekly is there to compile it all:

Once again, Jessica Simpson’s body has become the butt of Internet jokes. On Wednesday, she went out to eat — and bloggers couldn’t help but notice her chest.

TMZ.com said the “former singer … looked really stuffed” at the organic restaurant, adding that “Jess knows natural free-range breasts are much better for you than ones pumped full of preservatives.”

JustJared cracked that she put her “breast foot forward” during the outing.

Celeb gossip site bild — which said Simpson was rocking “one serious cleavage” — joked that she had a “XXL” bust size.

X17 also noticed that Simpson’s “boobs looked even more bodacious than usual” and speculated that the singer was either “wearing a wonderbra or “gained a few pounds (all in her boobs).”

Simpson probably isn’t amused by the chatter.

In October – after a Fox NFL Sunday spoof mocked her weight by saying she’d make a good “defensive tackle” – she Twittered: “I will never understand why people attack for a laugh.”

[From Us Weekly]

I just looked at Jessica’s Twitter page, and she hasn’t said anything about the criticism/comments. Yet. But I did find this hilarious tweet that kind of made me fall in love with Jessica: “Dear elderly man at the gym: its hard 4 me 2 keep composure whilst punching at chipmunk speed when ur ball sack spills out of ur wind shorts.” I’m still giggling at that one, honestly. The “chipmunk speed” reference is about Jessica’s new workout – boxing. She recently tweeted: “Boxing has changed my life! I have so much energy and it has cured my insomnia. Although I don’t think I can get out of bed I’m SO sore.” So, Jessica is happy and she’s got a new workout and she’s probably in love with Billy Corgan. So maybe that’s why she pushed her boobs out?

Jessica also tweeted about her shoes, which are from her own clothing-and-shoe collection. I think they’re ugly, but here’s a close-up of them from Jess’s twit-pic: